50 Shades of Grey was originally fanfiction based on the Twilight series, which was then published as a novel (along with 2 subsequent books). It sold over 100 million copies around the world and topped best-seller lists everywhere. It’s about to be adapted into a film, set to come out early next year.
It follows a college student named Ana Steele, who enters a relationship with a man named Christian Grey and is then introduced to a bastardised and abusive parody of BDSM culture.
While the book is paraded as erotica, the relationship between Ana and Christian is far from healthy. The core mantra of the BDSM community is “safe, sane and consensual”, and 50 Shades is anything but. None of the rules of BDSM practices (which are put in place to protect those involved) are actually upheld. Christian is controlling, manipulative, abusive, takes complete advantage of Ana, ignores safe-words, ignores consent, keeps her uneducated about the sexual practices they’re taking part in, and a multitude of other terrible things. Their relationship is completely sickening and unhealthy.
Basically, “the book is a glaring glamorisation of violence against women,” as Amy Bonomi so perfectly put it.
It’s terrible enough that a book like this has been absorbed by people worldwide. Now, we have a film that is expected to be a huge box-office success, and will likely convince countless more young women that it’s okay not to have any autonomy in a relationship, that a man is allowed to control them entirely. It will also show many young men that women are theirs to play with and dominate, thus contributing to antiquated patriarchal values and rape culture.
You know what, countless people stood against Twilight and how abusive Edward was so we can only hope that a community against Fifty Shades will do the same. *crosses fingers*
the adults on tumblr are fucking surreal like half of them spend their time making fun of 13-16 year olds please do something more productive with your time. ride a bike. get a job. pay taxes.
As an adult I manage my time wisely where I can ride a bike,do my job,pay my taxes, and also make fun of 13-16 year olds all in one day.
your icon is a pony
Any adult that forgets the fact that they did stupid shit as a kid, that they were led to believe stupid shit as a kid, that they held stupid ideas as a kid, doesn’t have any place trying to tell a kid what’s what, let alone make fun of them, which is completely uncalled for. That’s not acting like an adult at all.
Oh, you wanna play this game? Let’s play!
- He sends her an email saying that her negative reaction to being spanked is “very Tess Durbeyfield” of her, saying “you agreed to the debasement, if I remember correctly.” May I just say that if I had a scene that ended in my sub or bottom feeling upset, assaulted, and confused about whether or not they enjoyed the scene, I would think that was me fucking up, not the sub’s fault for not feeling things the way I want them to feel.
- Ana gets the contract and what does she think? “This is no way to have a relationship.” She doesn’t like it. She’s not excited about it, she’s not falling over herself because this is the relationship she’s always wanted but never had a name for, she’s afraid.
- When she brings up points of contention in her email to him, he sends back the dictionary definition of “submissive” and tells her that’s how she’s supposed to act when they negotiate. For those following along at home, that’s not how you discuss a relationship equitably. It’s called “acting like you’re in a dynamic that you haven’t mutually agreed to,” and it’s a classic move of scumbags.
- When she tries to discuss their relationship (in the dinner scene), he treats it like a contract negotiation, which of course is helped by the fact that he just gave her an actual physical contract. Here’s the thing: in a contract negotiation, it’s an adversarial relationship. If I want to pay $2000 for this car and you want me to pay $5000, anything that ends in my favor is a loss for you and anything that gets you what you want is a loss for me. Kink is about finding things you both enjoy, and then perhaps expanding on that foundation together as you both get more comfortable, not haggling like a used car dealer over how many hours of sleep you get a night.
- Sure, she might be up for spanking, gags, and ropes. Except that time when he drags her to his family’s boathouse to spank her for the dire offense of not letting him finger her in front of his parents, while she’s protesting and begging him not to hit her, then gives her the option of either having sex with him or getting spanked, then moves the goalposts so it’s now “don’t come or you’ll get spanked.” That doesn’t scream “oh yes give me more spanking now” to me.
Thank you for being awesome. I haven’t read the book (I don’t want to) but I’m always happy when someone breaks down the difference between healthy BDSM and an abusive relationship. I think the up-rise of these distinctions being discussed more often, and more openly, is the best result of this book’s existence.
this is so sad. you should never be ashamed of loving pokemon! (you should never be ashamed of loving anything) I know it’s hard if the people around you are poking fun, but you have a ton of people in the tumblr community (me being one) who would never make fun of you! don’t hate yourself! pokemon is great and so are you, there’s nothing wrong with loving pokemon and sleeping with a pikachu plush- stay positive! ･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧
Anon, please know that I am a 26 year old woman in an almost three year committed relationship. I am a parent. I am a stay at home mom. I am largely responsible for the house, parenting, homeschooling, cooking, and I manage to bring in extra income. I have slept with dolls my entire life, my bulbasaur plush being one of my favorites. I still sleep with it when my boyfriend isn’t around, and sometimes even when he is. If it’s not strange to sleep with a pillow, it’s not strange to sleep with a stuffed animal. It’s just a shaped pillow with a face. Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior for something that gives you strength.